The seven kinds of brew ha ha’ers
September 21, 2022
By: Lance Burri
Downtown Baraboo’s Brew Ha Ha is right around the corner (you’ve got your tickets, right?), so for some of you, it’s time to start getting ready.
For others of you, not quite yet. More on that later.
What’s a Brew Ha Ha? It’s where you get to sample dozens of tasty beers over the course of a few hours strolling around downtown Baraboo with your friends. You’ve probably got a good idea of who those friends are going to be already, and where you’re going to meet, and what costumes you’re all going to wear, but…well, let us ask you:
How do you Brew Ha Ha?
Silly question, of course. There are as many ways to Brew Ha Ha as there are people Brew Ha Ha-ing. But we’ve been doing this for a few years now, so here are some of the most common.
1. The Planner
Possibly the rarest form of Brew Ha Ha-er, the Planner is the one who studies the map as soon as it’s in hand and plots out a route that will get their group to every stop without accidentally missing one, or having to backtrack and turn down a different street because nobody realized there were more stops down there. It’s not necessary to have a Planner in your group and, in fact, most Brew Ha Ha groups don’t have one, which is why so many Brew Ha Ha-ers turn into Fast Finishers sometime after 8 o’clock.
You might think that Planners are probably also Achievers (see below), but not necessarily. Plenty of Planners are able to be very casual Brew Ha Ha-ers because of the planning.
2. The Pantser
As in “by the seat of your pants,” these Brew Ha Ha-ers have little to no idea how many stops there are, and only a general sense of “they’re all around here somewhere.” They rely on the signs outside every stop and are known to yell “there’s one!” and “there’s another one!” as they walk with their friends.
While having both a Pantser and a Planner in your group might seem like trouble, it usually isn’t, as the Pantser will usually not be aware that anyone has done any planning to begin with.
3. The Fast Finisher
There’s a lot to do during the Brew Ha Ha. You’re visiting different places you might not have been to before. There’s food to sample. You’re seeing a lot of great stuff that, holy cow would that make a great Christmas present! You might be running into friends, or getting to know the people you keep running into along the way.
But then, before you know it, the Brew Ha Ha’s almost over and you still have eight stops to go and suddenly you’re huddling up on the sidewalk, tracing out new and and increasingly complex routes on the map, your bestie is turning into General Patton, and you’re all using a distinctly faster stride than before.
4. The Fast Starter
The opposite of the Fast Finisher, the Fast Starter starts out wanting to see and do as much as possible. Note, however, that the Fast Starter is distinct from the Planner: your average Fast Starter doesn’t see the need for a plan. Let’s just go!
5. The Wanderer
The most casual of Brew Ha Ha-ers, the Wanderer may know how many stops there are, and might not. The pace is relaxed, the glass is ready, and there’s just no hurry to be found. You’ll know Wanderers when you see them by their willingness to window shop, to turn left here even though there’s another stop just over there, to linger over some food or a conversation. To the Wanderer, it’s all about the moment.
Subsets of the Wanderer include the Browser, the Shopper, the Serious Beer Taster, and the guy whose sister-in-law is an Achiever and this is just a fun way to get under her skin.
6. The Solo
Very few Brew Ha Ha-ers buy a single ticket and purposely do the Brew Ha Ha alone, but with so much good beer and good food on hand, and so many people to chat with along the way, why not? What a great way to spend an evening!
Still, most Solos don’t purposely set out on their own. Usually, this Brew Ha Ha-er has become detached from his or her group somehow and is only temporarily alone until a reunion can be achieved. The Solo may be actively looking for the rest of the group, or may have skipped a stop or two and will now hang out here for a while, and see if the others show up. Accidentally becoming a Solo is nothing to worry about, because there’s plenty of friendly people around. It is fun to watch, though, when a Solo reunites with the group and they all suddenly become Fast Finishers.
7. The Achiever
We’re hitting every stop and trying every beer. Every. Single. One. The Achiever needs buy-in, because just one Wanderer or Pantser can mess up the timing of the entire night. The good news: we’ve all got a little bit of Achiever in us, so one enthusiastic group member can get everybody good and fired up to move.
Achievers aren’t necessarily Planners, because why do you need a plan? You’ve already got a map! Achievers aren’t necessarily Fast Starters or Finishers, either, because those Brew Ha Ha-ers are more about hitting every stop, and that’s not enough for the average Achiever. The best Achievers are keeping track of the beers, even rating and ranking them somehow.
There you have it. What do you think? Do you fall into one of those categories, or maybe more than one? Did we completely miss the most obvious kind of Brew Ha Ha-er out there? Make sure you get your tickets, and drop us a line to let us know! Link to purchase tickets online is below!
Link to 2022 Brew Ha Ha Online Ticket Purchase: